tired.

i am close to 2 months in cebu. frankly, you think i'm still up and at em frolicking around in the queen city of the south.

most of the time, i have to drag myself out of bed. literally. i wake up each day at around 9:30, half an hour before the uber flex-time ends. I take quick showers, pull up my day to 2 day old jeans and a shirt, my hair in a wild disarray of bangs and strands, then me and helen will set of to work either by cab or jeep then we either race to the time clock to punch in our id numbers(twice for good measure) and settle ourselves to work.

the feeling of summer vacation ended when ben went home to Manila last 27th of august.the skies were gray and the rain poured. the bed felt empty. i got sick and even if i am sporting a normal temperature, i still feel sick. my head was heavy and i keep getting headaches in the office while i work.

chucking paracetamol on a day to day basis for my headaches is startling, i don't want to end up being like House stuck on pain relievers so i tried stopping the meds. and i'm feeling a bit out of the weather and i am coming down with a cold. which i am chucking vitamin Cs (not yosi, mind you).

during work, i sit on my place at the cebu office, glancing 8 or more hours on the screen while thinking of logics and algorithms, coding at a manic pace to beat the never ending deadlines. each milestone finished was like a victory and a reminder that the more i work on this the faster i can get home.

it's been a while since i whined. i haven't whined about my work (with regards to project) since it was that dreadful 3am and I wanted to go home but got home at 6am. i was whining like a baby, and i got over it. somewhat. i didn't even bother with the business trips and AOTS anymore, some things are really not meant to be. and I know I have something more in store later on.

since i am back here in cebu, i was dreading the replay of what happened a year ago. the reworks, the revisions, and the failure of coding. my lame algorithms and my even lamer logic. the hasty, and sloppy work i did that took a toll on the start of a supposedly nice career.

i hope i'm making up for it now. i don't want to assume anything just yet. but i want to prove this one last thing, i want to make my mark before i leave. and have digitally logged created by NSP D. Lee in codes that will be floating in repositories when i'm gone. Documents that have my name on the initial drafts , to be continued or to be referenced by the new hopefuls and to all the other memories and experiences that i may have or have not shared with the people i've worked with, the little things, from my unexceptionally loud voice, to the times i was serious enough to give actual advice, to any other realization, and to the people who have humbled me and who have inspired me to do my best.

it's 12:45am.
i'm going to bed
with all these thoughts in my head.