[x] Relapse.

It's been a while.

Sometimes, the thoughts of you just come back. Darn you.

I came back from a Transactional Analysis Seminar. And the speaker told us, every memory, is inside of us, triggered by a certain stimulus. It was proven by using a mild electric shot through parts of the brain and transport the "victim" back to a place where it was so familiar yet so long ago.

I looked on a old schoolmate's y!m status to see that she had a band formed with a bunch of original tracks. I listened to a particularly popular one. All violins and guitars, a soft voice and *phoom*.

I was back in 2003 again. Top of the Burgundy Tower, looking at the world, the sky was gray, and the rain was falling.

And we were dancing. Around and around, our laughter echoing to the heavens, the sheer giddiness, the feeling of freedom.

The feeling of love.

If I had an emo song for our relationship, this would match perfectly. The lyrics were almost near accurate. The tears began to fall. And I was again in a mix of swimming emotions circling around me, bittersweet melancholy sadness and longing.

Here's a little snippet of the song's chorus. And if you knew what used to be who we were, you would know why this song held a both a pain and a pleasure in my heart.

Kaze's Rain
looking at the cloudy sky
and every darkened street hearing the thunder rolling
it reminds me of that day we danced in the rain
what am i supposed to do, without you by my side
watching the raindrops falling
reminds me painfully how we both used to love the rain

I don't know how to feel really. I know it's over. I guess this is the electric shock of that part of the brain.

Let's hope there are no more stimulants for a long, long time.